Wednesday, October 12, 2011

What being a Secretary means to me.

10 years back all I knew about a Secretary was just someone who writes letters. Heaps of letters and reports. Hence that justified why back then whenever a secretarial post was offered it was always the case someone pointed out:

In school : ”Let’s appoint a girl. Girls are more diligent than guys.” Or,

In college :  ”Let’s appoint someone who’s good at writing, and diligent too” - At this point gender is not the main concern but the skills that matters.

But now in university : “Let’s appoint someone who has more free time and passionate about leadership” - At this point a much more mature criteria were pointed out. (Yes, free time IS important although we can always defy free time with "make" time)

I may not qualify for the most of the former criterias but I do, passionate about leadership. At this stage, being a secretary does not mean writing letters or emails all the time. A secretary must also know how to delegate work,  how to make good networking with people and above all, must know when to listen and when she/he is required to lead.

There are more portfolio for a secretary out there. You can google all you want. Although to me, I started with zero experience and knowledge. I learned from the very bottom. All I had when I first became a secretary was “my willingness to learn”.  Even now, I’m still learning.

3 years in the same position did not mean that I hindered myself to progress upwards, it just means that I’m equipping myself better before I start to think of leading on top. Not to mention, I somehow favour the thought of becoming the think tank more than being an icon. I’m forever thankful to everyone who has made my secretarial experience meaningful and successful thus far. It was definitely a rewarding experience.  

With this, I close my chapter of being the secretary of Wellington UMNO Club.

All that remains are good memories. Thank You and Thank GOD.

Ps: Back then I wonder why Secretary needs to have the Secretary’s Day. Now I realize, it’s a post worths celebrating.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Once in a lifetime.. snow

It's winter.
It's cold.
It might snow.
It already rained.
Pouring, inside out.
It's never easy.
24 July at 22:00 
It snows . . as hoped, and expected.
25 July at 13:36 
It snows again.
And it melts.
But still feel as cold.
Ah. .
Snow snow let it snow
It's paradise. In limbo.
14 August at 18:02  
It's snowing
Not the usual snow
It's once in a lifetime snow
In my eyes
Every time I see the snow
..I see you
I see us
It's surreal
It's once in a lifetime

To the wind that blows the hails
To the snow storm that clouds the sky
I whisper my prayers to you
Hoping you are well and healthy
16 August at 22:18   
Wellington city

Snow steps


Thursday, June 23, 2011

Small and Big

There's a big task
There's a smaller task
While the small admires the big above
Some smaller envy people would small the big
And claim the big one does all the talk
While the small one does all the job, and indeed is bigger!
Also some big ones belittle the small ones below
Think all too high and stop caring much
Which indeed make them smaller!

It is not about the size, it is the dedication
It is not about relativity, it is the respect
It is not about the pride, it is the compassion
It is not about the brag , it is the acknowledgment
Whatever task it is, do it well.
Be critical, but not full time critics!

11.05 pm
Victoria University of Wellington

This photo is not mine
- Just my "petty" feelings about all the political rally in the world. Why? Ask me in person.

Friday, June 10, 2011

What Does It Mean to Love?

What does it mean to love?
If I can't be there for you
Through your desperate and happy times
To share your bad day as well as the good ones.

What does it mean to love?
To see my loved ones hurt each other
Thus cause me pain
For I can't be of any aid.

What does it mean to love?
If I have to hide it
For the sake of pride and remorse
Where honesty is questioned
and sincerity is tested.

What does it mean to love?
If I fear to let go
Yet I blocked my hearts
Good enough to be knocked
but well-sealed with a golden lock

[Republished. And now I don't even remember when I wrote it]

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Versions of Gaudeamus Igitur

Gaudeamus Igitur has been used in many European countries as a song for graduation. However, in Victoria we don't sing the song fully. 

This is the one we usually sing in Graduation ceremony. (Blue lyrics below)

 And this is the Full version (check out the Red lyrics below)

18th-century version of the song by C. W. Kindleben, 1781

Lyrics (source from wiki)
Latin English

Gaudeamus igitur
Iuvenes dum sumus.
Post iucundam iuventutem
Post molestam senectutem
Nos habebit humus.

Let us rejoice, therefore,
While we are young.
After a pleasant youth
After a troubling old age
The earth will have us.

Ubi sunt qui ante nos
In mundo fuere?
Vadite ad superos
Transite in inferos
Hos si vis videre.

Where are they who, before us,
Were in the world?
Go to the heavens
Cross over into hell
If you wish to see them.

Vita nostra brevis est
Brevi finietur.
Venit mors velociter
Rapit nos atrociter
Nemini parcetur.

Our life is brief
Soon it will end.
Death comes quickly
Snatches us cruelly
To nobody shall it be spared.

Vivat academia!
Vivant professores!
Vivat membrum quodlibet;
Vivant membra quaelibet;
Semper sint in flore.

Long live the academy!
Long live the professors!
Long live each student;
Long live the whole fraternity;
For ever may they flourish!

Vivant omnes virgines
Faciles, formosae.
Vivant et mulieres
Tenerae, amabiles,
Bonae, laboriosae.

Long live all girls,
Easy [and] beautiful!
Long live [mature] women too,
Tender, lovable,
Good, [and] hard-working.

Vivat et res publica
et qui illam regit.
Vivat nostra civitas,
Maecenatum caritas
Quae nos hic protegit.

Long live the state as well
And he who rules it!
Long live our city
[And] the charity of benefactors
Which protects us here!

Pereat tristitia,
Pereant osores.
Pereat diabolus,
Quivis antiburschius
Atque irrisores.

Let sadness perish!
Let haters perish!
Let the devil perish!
And also the opponents of the fraternities
And their mockers, too!
It's a popular academic song that pokes fun at university life.. And I just knew about it, today.Well, basically this is what I get when I tried to find some inspirations on Youtube. lol.

Here is a Fun version (from Russia) :

Sunday, May 15, 2011

If Ghost exists, I believe I may die and become one..

This writing is not for faint-hearted. lol. jk.
Since I was young I watched a lot of ghost movies and series namely Nang Nak, Jerangkung, Ghost whisperer, and many more. I'd like to draw your attention to the famous one, Nang Nak. 

Nak "lived" beyond her life to fulfill one and only wish; to welcome her husband home serve him. She hunted one by one and murdered any villagers that tried to reveal the truth about her "existence" to her husband, Mak. Nonetheless, when the truth came out Mak left her out of fear, of course. Nak extended "life" finally ended when the monk calmed her spirit and the most important of all, Mak let her go. Mak released her from her agony of wait and unfulfilled wishes to live together till the end of time.. The most touching ghost legend I've found, ever.

My points in her story are two:

  1.  She couldn't go the other World peacefully due to unfulfilled wishes behind.
  2. The only way to leave peacefully needs some serious detachment and self-acceptance.

Now what's the relation with my entry's title this time? Am I going to be that faithful wife who'd rise from the dead to protect and serve my husband too? I pray I won't. I don't want to suffer the pain of leaving twice. 
However, that's beside the point. In fact, my case may not relate to the ghost stories at all although I can say for sure, there is a correlation (aha, now my psychology and statistic knowledge come in handy).

I have sleeping trouble (as many would already know). In many occasions, I could find myself lying restlessly trying to sleep yet much often, I will actually dream of things that bother my mind before my sleep. In most cases, I'd try to prove something mathematically. I'd think extremely hard to solve the problems although the question itself may be a little blurry or vague. That said, none of the problems that arise in my dream would be a Valid question. There were just a little invalid lemma or corollary that evolved from the troubling case I faced in reality.

Once, I tried hard to compute a probability function concerning a love relationship between my friends.On another occasion I dreamed about a Matroid proving that I failed to solve before I sleep, yet the proposition evolved and became something that was totally unsolvable. I woke up, stressed. There were many more "proving dreams" that I had which none of them were entertaining at all.  I become a ghost out of my own misery.

Back to Nang Nak points above:

  1. I couldn't sleep well due to my heavy workloads during the day. (i.e  unsettled/unfulfilled wishes)
  2. If only I could "unload" them for once and at least sleep peacefully, that'd be nice.. (i.e detachment & self-acceptance)
Here are my favourite quotes for a point to ponder:

"If only we could lessen our attachment, life would be much sweeter" (Shamim Mazari, 2009)

Learn to detach...Don't cling to things, because everything is impermanent... But detachment doesn't mean you don't let the experience penetrate you. On the contrary, you let it penetrate fully. That's how you are able to leave it... Take any emotion--love for a woman, or grief for a loved one, or what I'm going through, fear and pain from a deadly illness. If you hold back on the emotions--if you don't allow yourself to go all the way through them--you can never get to being detached, you're too busy being afraid. You're afraid of the pain, you're afraid of the grief. You're afraid of the vulnerability that love entails. But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely. You know what pain is. You know what love is. You know what grief is. And only then can you say, 'All right. I have experienced that emotion. I recognize that emotion. Now I need to detach from that emotion for a moment.
Mitch Albom Quotes from Tuesdays with Morrie

"This is Shamimi Shamsuddin reminding myself in case I forget" - (Read with Baba Ali intonation)

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

The result and few other things

First, count the hot air balloons:

5? Correct!  That's exactly the rank I got in The New Zealand Student of The Year competition.
I didn't manage to get the first place and win the said Award. Yet, I believe I had a fun time asking supports from friends, families. Being in the top 10 was an accomplishment, getting as much as 200++ supports and made new friends along the way were also an accomplishment. 

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much for your supports.

I will still receive the certificate for being nominated. Alhamdulillah.. :)

My friend says :A silent victory is sweetest when shared -- intimately. (RZ)

But I would at least leak some of the happiness, not to brag but just as a motivation to myself ;) :

I hope we could be friends and support each other even more^^
You are still my model of the best Malaysian student in Victoria, thank you very much for all the inspiration and motivation you gave me, how powerful a speech could be! (Ang Ching Ting, 2011 - Winner of New Zealand Student of the Year Award")

Congratulations Ching Ting. I'm proud of you, too :)

Now, the other things. Here are the snippets:


I had 3 hrs not so quality sleep in the hons room on Sunday night. It was freezing although I put on a heater. (Thanks Ayu for the heater)

In the morning apparently there was only me in the 9am class (the two students only class) so yeah, I had to open my eyes. 

Nevertheless, in my other class I managed to quietly sat on the floor and slept for few minutes during the lecture. The lecturer must have felt weird because I asked him something at the beginning of the class and then I disappeared. And I was there towards the end of the class. lol. 

In my last class yesterday I left my phone accidentally and had to retrieve it from the campus security afterwards. 

Random much?


I've been invited to have a lunch at Marae today by the Chair of Malay Studies in Victoria University. 
A free Maori lunch! Yay. 

And then work at Kiwiholidays. Back into being an office girl for awhile today, it seems. May the $$ pour *pur pur* (I've been quite poor lately :P) oh that rhymes pour pur pur poor.  lol.

Don't let me start talking about my workloads. It won't end.

Above all, I hope nothing random (catastrophic) happens today. ;)

Friday, April 22, 2011

Vote for me, will you?

Only if you think I deserve it.. :)
As of yesterday, I've been nominated as the top 10 finalist for New Zealand International Student of The Year. Show your support if you think I,as a fellow MALAYSIAN. deserve the honour. 
1st you have to Like this page http:
and then (most important part) please Like this page
I need the vote of Likes amongst you, crucially to win.You have my approval if you wish to promote my page in any way..
(Don't worry about not being physically in New Zealand. Kat ceruk mana dunia pun kalau tekan like tu fb baca >.<. Plus, memang digalakkan family and friends back home(or not) mengundi) ) 
So, bantulah saya please.
Thank you very much!!

That was pretty much what I've written to people, demanding their supports. Hmm. Just who am I to owe them much "Likes"?

Just like other nominees I shared the answer why I deserve to win.

I have graduated in my BSC Mathematics last December and currently studying for my BSc Hons (Mathematics). Other than my academic achievement, I have also participated in a lot of extra-curricular activities, namely:

1)Cultural Forums (2010-2011): I have participated as panelists in few forums on cultural integration organized by Victoria International and MSC (Malaysian Student Council). 

2) UN Youth Aotearoa New Zealand (2008-2011) - As member of UNYANZ, I participated as delegate in Model Asean Regional Forum 2010 as well as became the conference assistant (twice), and logistics coordinator (once). 

3) VUW Swords Club (2010-2011) - Executive members of the fencing club. I learnt the martial art that is completely new to me and help around with organizing competitions.

 4) Wellington UMNO Club (2008,2009,2011) - Secretary for one of the Malaysian club in Wellington. 

5) Homework Club (2009-2010)- The club runs by Wellington Somali Council (NGO) to facilitate helps for refugee background high-school students. I volunteered as a tutor there. 

6) Campus Coaches (2010) - guide and help new students for a smoother transition in campus and monitor their needs during their first month at uni. 

7) Muslim Students of VUW Club (2009) - As the Cultural Council Representatives, I was responsible to connect Muslim students at university, regardless of our cultural backgrounds.

Other experiences:

I have also worked as a fruit packer in Roxburgh, Central Otago and lived with wonderful kiwis over there for about 1 and half month.

I am also blessed to have an adopted kiwi family which is very loving and caring towards me. 

Of course, there are many other experiences that I cannot possibly list them in details here. I cherish my cultural experience in New Zealand very much. Getting involved with the Kiwi to me doesn't only mean to get to know the Maori or Pakeha but also about learning the "Kiwi culture" , namely the lifestyle of Kiwi that is much tolerant and compassionate to others, including the international person (like me), the refugees, and the people from different faith(namely the New Zealanders attitude towards Muslims).

However, unlike others who beautifully enchanted people with their words and wonderful experiences I made a list with some brief (as you can see, really-really brief) description of what I did in the past 3 years and what I continue doing now.

Even those, can't possibly summed up the wonderful experience I've had in New Zealand. Frankly speaking, the list may cover 65% of what I did so far. In retrospect, no matter how much they are, the significant of each of project is very little. By little here I mean the focus group is max about 200 people only. I've got nothing at the global event, or anything Mega or of utmost important of Human race.

I don't have much ideals written, of how I view the world and how I wish it may turn into better place. Checking out the all the nominees gives me a shiver. I'm not as great as they are. Especially in terms of academic. I'm still struggling. I do not top anything, to be honest.  I haven't gained mastery of anything. I'm just a simple me, continuously struggling to survive.  i.e I'm not really an excellent scholars with many awards nor am I any better than them at those extra co-curricular activities.

Now that I'm in the honours program, I missed those active life even more. Having meetings almost every day, having social events almost every week. Not to forget how I've got to run errands till I run out of My OWN money, and all the stresses that involved. etc. They may not as big as I mentioned above, but I know I've learnt a lot from those little things. I owe my life much from the countless mistakes I made, and the support of my friends.

All in all, I'm glad that I did my best back then so that I won't have anything to regret for later.But now,  somehow I have to confine myself in the office and deal with excruciating workloads everyday.

Whether my life is actually well-balanced or not, who knows? It may not be at the moment, but I hope in the end all the hard work pays off. And the question whether I'm good enough to win? Who knows?

Utmost importance now: Please pray I will pass this honours program.  It's all I need for now.
in Graduate Room with fellow Honours mate

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Acknowledgement to the Heart. (Part II)

How could you become a support
If you ain't sure , ain't have a clue
whether you have the much needed consolation
For all you know, wrong choice of aids
May hurt someone's pride more than the wound itself

How could you be of help
If the misery is well-hidden
So deep, so dark you 'd let it pass
If it hadn't for the slightest torch;clue.

More importantly, how could you be so sure
That you can be of assistance
That you're even worth listening to
Surely Words, and everlasting ways
To mend a broken heart
Could as well break it further
Through false hope
A treason to life itself..

Probably a pat in the back is better than a sorry.
A silent prayer might be better than any solace.
Sounds like nothing much you can do, right?
So true.
To me, at least.

I'm never good at praising.
Nor am I any better at soothing.
My empathy has it's limit
To a point I can't possibly do anything strengthening.
I may only try
To that, I'm sorry.