Sunday, May 30, 2010

What Literacy Has Meant For Me II


Honesty is claimed as the best policy.
Yet it may also repel others
once truth has come to light.

It is the only act of kindness
with its own counterbalance:
potentially calming and calamitous at once.

While sincerity is always questionable,
honesty should justify everything.
So honesty, please stay with me.

peace (^_^)~V

2.10am 29th May 2010
Victoria University of Wellington

Written by: Shamimi Shamsuddin
Edited by: Rafie Zuhaili

I feel like a writer. It's not everyday someone actually comes and proofreads your writing. I remember several friends who proofread my academic essays previously. My tons of thanks to Aiman, Fauzi, Chouji, Asyer (ok. semua lelaki no wonder William told me I'm a 'kaki lelaki' .oops. wth. he simply meant i have a good social skills ;P) . Without them, who knows how I'd passed my writing papers with my limited skills. After all, I'm a Math students who loves numbers but currently seems to almost forget how they look like. A bit of identity conflict there. ;P Writing is just a passion derives from my love for reading. 

My mum works in a Book Cooperative. I was surrounded by books even before I was born. And I remember well how I played between those bookshelves with a childhood friend of mine, Boy. I honestly don't know his real name. lol. (oh, another boy? lol). My mum brought home Dewan Pelajar every month when I was in primary school and my dad used to read story books to me, particularly fairy tales. Mimi Goldilocks and the Three Bears. I could still remember that. I was well aware the main character's name was not Mimi to begin with but I knew that was his way to make me like the story and thus, built up the reading habit.And my brother introduced me to Comics. (I am still a big fan of comics ;P). I used to become a Library prefect, and even work part-time with my mum since I was 15. In short, I love books :)

But to write a book, or a long long story is a hard work. I'm a lazy bum. Hence, whenever I feel like there are so many things to tell, and so little word that I could put into writing, it'll turn out to be a poem. And my poems could explain things better than my usual writing. It is concise yet very precise. It is subtle but it's still decodable. oh i'm a Math student, still. I love symbols. 

My short poem up there was edited by my not so new friend who has been generously edited it without my permission but perfectly put my gist to the lines without losing its originality. ;) Thank you very much. I can't thank you much enough of how you boosted my vocabulary by making me check the dictionary whenever I read your writing.  (This is a compliment by the way. :p). Thanks again. 

Sunday, May 9, 2010

My not so new Life.

I love my studies. But when your study breaks your heart you feel like you're left with nothing isn't it? Well, the world is not at the end. At least not yet.

Just recently I've hired a tutor for my Algebra (statistically the 2nd hardest undergrad Math paper at Victoria University). I've never imagined to go this far. I was pretty much self-sufficient when it goes to study. I can go to see lecturer when I feel I needed to, but not always.Yet this time, I really need extra helps because I can't rely on the lecturer alone or even myself. I don't want to explain any further on why I take this step that costs me $20/h.It's too depressing. All you need to know is, this is me,struggling to stand on my feet in my final year of my Math degree. Whether it really works or not, we'll see 7 weeks from now. I pray that it works. And it will, because I have to make it happen.
"Let no one think that it is impossible because it is difficult. It is the highest goal, and it is no wonder that the highest effort should be necessary to attain it.(M.K. Ghandhi)"
I've talked to my mates about Life recently. Looking back on how I spend my time this year, I may say that I meet less people, offer less service, shop less(well that's good actually), attend less social activities as compared to what I've done in previous years. I was busy and now I am still occupied. But only by my study and sleep.I've tossed away things that I like for this enjoyable unsurpassed freedom to pursue my intellectual pursuits (as my friend beautifully put it). I could confine myself in my house 3 days without stepping out of the door at all and sit for more than 8 hours for studying. And to be honest, I don't regret it at all. In fact, I feel like I'm closer to what I want this year. My life may seem dull to others but I'm trying to enjoy it the best I can. It's even harder than I ever imagined. And the finite time that has been graciously given to me sometimes feels too short. And just because I'm not doing many activities in significance it doesn't mean that I have enough time for everything. I still need to continuously reevaluate and reconsider my steps and my investment on Mr Time. 

"If you don’t have time to do it right,
when will you have time to do it over?"
- John Wooden
Indeed, I understand that it's not how much time you spend is important , but it's how productive you spend your time that matters. Quality over quantity, yes that's exactly what I seek for. Please pray that my epic steps here will finally get me to what I want.

Here's a song that somehow raised my spirits for over a week already.

01 What Faith Can Do.mp3