Sunday, December 21, 2008

Ontogenesis II ~ Black Jack !!

I'm 21 and I'm single.yeah. older?? maturer? or riper? *wink wink*.

whatever it is. i'm glad that i could reach this age. A close friend of mine wished "happy birthday.bermakna ajal ko makin hampir". takde tapis punye wish. no sweet2 words. honest abes. haha.

For all my friends. thanks heaps for the wishes. Be it in facebook, friendster, emails, Ym and any other communications we had. i kindly appreciate them.

Today I made an attempt to bake a chocolate cake. Sadly, I failed. isk isk.
Including this incidence, it had been twice that I failed to make something during by birthday. Last year, I failed to make Agar2. bende senang je. selalu buat jadi. bila hari jadi, semua benda tak menjadi. haih ~

Many thanks to Yusman& Chouji, for the birthday muffins last night. also, the 222A the terrace residents (Mamat, Yusman,Najmi), for their hospitality and the reward is..... my spoilt cake. LOL.

2008 b'day cake.baked by me.looks nice.. but only God knows how it tastes. Tepong habes. LOL
2007 b'day cake. baked by kak ummi. looks damn simple but yummy hell. A banana cake. :)

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

When the times come..

Recently, i'm saddened by the fact that many of my friends are leaving Wellington this Summer. Some went home temporarily but quite a significant number of them are leaving for good. I might or might not have a chance to see them again in the future.

For those in the education line of work, we may meet again but the truth is, me being in MRSM system may not have the chance to meet the Kementerian teachers often. Also, for those businessman or businesswoman in the making, i wouldn't be surprise if i saw their names in newspaper someday and says " oh i know this person." . Glad enough, i will read the news to my students. Hoho.. what an inspiring story , I may thought. Well, we'd never know what future holds, wouldn't we?

Over one year, I also get to know many people which are different from my usual cycle of friends. Those are the working people, or sometimes merely travelers.. I may only meet them for a very short time but I do cherish the relationship that grew from that fated meetings very much..for that i knew that I made a lot of friends and so my world expands.

I really wish that our friendship wouldn't get tarnished by the continent that set us apart. Bon voyage my friends and all the best for your future.

and here is a special poem dedicated to everyone who regards me as a friend.. enjoy.

Friends by Shamimi Shamsuddin

Friendship knows no limit

Unless you put an end to it

We need to befriend and defend it

But when the times come

We need to let it go

To pursue our own dreams

And Life

We met with God's will

We split with God's will

That's the climax of Ukhwah Fillah

May Allah bless us along the way

Thursday, January 04, 2007

9:49 PM

Note: Ukhwah Fillah means relationship in Allah's will

Saturday, October 25, 2008


Ontogenesis ; (biology) the process of an individual organism growing organically; a purely biological unfolding of events involved in an organism changing gradually from a simple to a more complex level

Year after year, we celebrated birthdays as a symbol of growth. Nevertheless, many regards it as another year of being older which demoted oneself from the benefit and joy of youths. Yes, it's true that as we grow older, we will have more responsibilities to take care of. But isn't responsibility is what our life is all about?

Responsibilities are always there through our whole life-span. Responsibility as a children is to play, get healthy yet don't get dirty. Although your parent may say don't get hurt, you will get hurt eventually and you'll learn the pains. Responsibility as a teenager is to study and learn more of your own strength, for that you'll decide your future undertakings. You will also get to know your weaknesses along the process. Responsibility is.. responsibility that... yeah all of us may already know what that is. Cliché isn't it?

What I'm trying to say is we have to celebrate our birthday to cherish our life, to congratulate ourselves of our maturity increment and to live to our heart content..

A teacher once said this to me "History taught one to be more judicious (Sejarah mengajar manusia menjadi bijaksana) " .

So why would we always look in the past and hope that we'll return to that state?? Returning to our younger state means that we're willing to move backwards, feel the same joy again, yet the same pain and most importantly, face our very same ignorance! Seriously, do we really need that??

Don't look back
Just remember what we've been through
And face what lies ahead
Shall we?

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Mama, Momma, Mak, Ibu, Omak, Bonda, ..etc.

Mama, Momma, Mak, Ibu, Mummy, Omak, Bonda, ..etc. No matter what you called it.. She's my birth mother. And today, 16th Oct 2008 is her birthday.. Love you, Mama.

A Song for Mama by Boyz II Men

You taught me everything
And everything you've given me
I always keep it inside
You're the driving force in my life, yeah
There isn't anything
Or anyone that I can be
And it just wouldn't feel right
If I didn't have you by my side
You were there for me to love and care for me
When skies were grey
Whenever I was down
You were always there to comfort me
And no one else can be what you have been to me
You will always be you always will be the girl
In my life for all times
Mama, mama you know I love you
Oh you know I love you
Mama, mama you're the queen of my heart
Your love is like
Tears from the stars
Mama, I just want you to know
Lovin' you is like food to my soul
Yes it is (5x)
You're always down for me
Have always been around for me even when I was bad
You showed me right from my wrong
Yes you did
And you took up for me
When everyone was downin' me
You always did understand
You gave me strength to go on
There was so many times
Looking back when I was so afraid
And then you come to me
And say to me I can face anything
And no one else can do
What you have done for me
You'll always be
You will always be the girl in my life
Never gonna go a day without you
Fills me up just thinking of you
I'll never go a day without my mama
Yes you are

Happy birthday MOMMA!!!

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Happy Eid, everyone!

Selamat Menyambut Aidilfitri

Slamat Dino Rioyo, nyong jalok ngapuro seng akeh - akeh
(Selamat Hari Raya, Saya minta ampun banyak-banyak)

Let us cherish this coming Syawal with our loved ones. No matter how far we are, our love will still reach them. InsyaAllah..

Happy Eid, everyone!

Raya !

Raya !


Sunday, September 21, 2008

When Sakura Blooms

When Sakura blooms, she blooms beautifully. That's all I can say while watching the very adorable creation of God, Sakura yesterday.

I went there with my friends by using cars (Note that, its plural. Because I went to Palmey and then back to Welly by using different cars. :) ). Thanks to them who were willing to let me join this fantastic trip to Palmerston North. While in the car, we could see along the way to Palmey the Sakura blooms by the roadside. And we couldn't help but wonder; why there are here?? what is so special about Sakura? how many types are there? and lots more questions answered by a considerable amount of assumptions. So here's a bit of Sakura facts that I cited from Wikipedia:
Sakura, or Cherry Blossom is an omen of good fortune and is also an emblem of love, affection and represents spring. Cherry blossoms are an enduring metaphor for the fleeting nature of life, and as such are frequently depicted in art.Whereas in China the cherry blossom symbolizes feminine beauty, the feminine principle, or love in the language of herbs, in Japan the cherry blossoms are believed to exemplify the transient nature of life, because of their short blooming times. Cherry blossoms also symbolize clouds due to their nature of blooming en masse, besides being an enduring metaphor for the ephemeral nature of life.The transience of the blossoms, the extreme beauty and quick death, has often been associated with mortality.
There are varieties of Sakura. Here is another few facts about that:
The most popular variety of sakura in Japan is the Somei Yoshino. Its flowers are nearly pure white, tinged with the palest pink, especially near the stem. They bloom and usually fall within a week, before the leaves come out. Therefore, the trees look nearly white from top to bottom. Other categories include yamazakura, yaezakura, and shidarezakura. The yaezakura have large flowers, thick with rich pink petals. The shidarezakura, or weeping cherry, has branches that fall like those of a weeping willow, bearing cascades of pink flowers.
I saw the pink and white Sakura but the pink ones bloom across the vast of places.I'm not sure which Sakura that is here in New Zealand.

I had an awesome day this time! Big time, indeed. Thanks again, everyone.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Iftaar ,Tarawikh , AGM and Oops!

Last night I went to MSVUW (Muslim club of Uni) iftaar and AGM at Uni. Earlier, I planned to sneak away after tarawikh with my friends. In other words, we want to be completely absent during the AGM (Annual General Meeting). Nevertheless, last night I found my friends and I were attending the AGM and on top of that, we sat at the very first row..

Many of the members turned up for the iftaar and the tarawikh prayers. Yet, only about half stayed on for the AGM. During the elections, lots of the nominees withdrew as they were not up to the post. It was the top High Committee post anyway. Seems everyone felt that there were others who is better suited for the post and thence, withdrew from the nominations. Only few was really up to the elections and these people eventually won the post. It was kinda lame, that everyone resisted the position although I believe that Muslim Club in uni is a big and essential club representing Muslim students in Uni. For this year only, the club comprises more than 200 members atltogether. That is a big number and there must be a lot of issues that the club has to handle to cater its members.

However, thanks to William Wu from VUWSA and few members of the hall who stood up and encouraged people to take part in the elections. Being a non-muslim, William explained the necessities of being the leader of the club. I was impressed by his little speech, and so did others. However, I couldn’t help but felt a bit shameful because we needed an outsider to tell us that.Not to mention, the disappearance of half of the members for the AGM affected our choice upon leaders ..and that’s another issue.

They were 5 posts nominated; the President, Vice-President, Secretary, Treasurer and Cultural Council Representative.At first I thought that I would never want any of these post because I already hold a top post in Wellington UMNO Club. So I kept looking forward to elect suitable persons for the first four posts. But oops, for the Cultural Council Representative suddenly I opened my mouth to the 07/08 President, Mr Mustaqeem and said “Can I volunteer??”. After that, I realized the effect of my actions immediately and said “Oh, What have I said??” But the members agreed to accept me as their Cultural Council Representative afterwards and I got the post without elections. Sounds like G-Pang isn’t it? Oh well, I was tempted by the role of the position, that’s all. I’ve got to make a lot connections afterwards and that will surely be a helpful experience for my duration of stay in New Zealand. I'd double the benefits if I'm in the commitee. Plus, I got friends who supported me as well. (takdela rase yakin diri sangat.hehe :P).

Oh, and the management this time have 2 Saudi Arabians (Mr President and the Treasurer), 1 African (our Vice-President), and 2 Malaysians ( the Secretary and Cultural Council Rep - that’s Aisyah and Me :)) Let’s see onwards just how are we gonna move the club with such international faces. Heheh :P

Friday, September 5, 2008

Gratitude II and Sorry

Today I received news that three of my friends lost their one of the closest person in life.

The first one is Hanafiah Md Yunos (Tesl) who lost his mother on 3rd Sept at around 8pm(Malaysia time). His mother suffered from cardiac problems for quite awhile until recently admitted to a hospital and was discharged last week. However, I'm not sure what went wrong but last night she went away forever.

Another person is Ain Fatihah (Architecture) who lost her grandfather 7 hours ago. Her grandfather died of a sudden asthma attack today. Earlier, he refused to break his fast for his medicine. Kuat betul semangat beliau..

The third person is Fay (Chemistry) who lost her friend due to skin disease. I'm not sure of the details but he/she was quite close with Fay.

Al fatihah..

I may not know exactly how to lose a mother like Na but I may understand the feeling of losing persons that I love. Once, while I was in form five I lost my Godfather(bapa angkat) that I lost contact with for about 5-7 years. The next time I met him was at the CCU (Critical Care Unit) at HKL while he was in a seriously critical condition. Later, while I was back in hostel I received news that he passed away. I was really depressed that I wasn't able to greet him properly after so long and couldn't ask for forgiveness at his very last minute.

About a year before I lose a friend. He was my classmates in form three. Back then, he was diagnosed for thyroid disease and later blood cancer. He missed class for almost a year but he managed to sit for PMR. I went to visit him at HUKM and later when he regained his strength he came to beraya at my house at the end of that year. After a few month I transferred into MRSM he called me with a loud and clear voice. He told me that his health was getting better and so, I encouraged him to continue study and try his best for SPM. Little did I know was, he was actually in Putrajaya Hospital (not Pluto planet like he told me) and I received the news about his death a week late. I was extremely shocked by then.

He was definitely a good friend for me. I was touched for what he did and seriously sorry for what he went through at such a young age (16 years old).

Just now, I chatted with my parents through YM and cried silently as I couldn't imagine my life without them. I nearly lost my father once, but I was never ready for it. Thank God that I could live my life the way I am now with the people that I love. Alhamdulillah..

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Tarawikh dan Puasa

Sekarang tibanya bulan barakah bulan Ramadhan. Orang Melayu selalu sebut ‘bulan puasa’ kerana pada bulan ini umat Muslim seluruh dunia akan berpuasa demi menunaikan rukun Islam ketiga.

Jika di Malaysia, persiapan menyambut Ramadhan akan dibuat sebelum mula bulan puasa lagi, tapi yang lebih meriahnya adalah persiapan beraya. Sebelum raya dah siap-siap tempah baju raya. Bulan puasa hanya dimeriahkan di surau-surau, masjid-masjid. Rata-rata orang akan sibuk bercerita tentang baju raya, kuih raya, balik kampung, dan macam-macam lagi aktiviti untuk memeriahkan Hari Raya Aidilfitri yang hadir sejurus selepas bulan Ramadhan.Hmm..

Aku masih ingat isteri Ustaz Puad (cikgu homeroom di MRSM Terendak dulu) pernah bercerita kalau di tanah airnya (Arab Saudi) bulan Ramadhan akan disambut dengan meriah. Aktiviti berbuka layaknya seperti rumah terbuka yang mana sesiapa sahaja boleh berkunjung dan menikmati juadah berbuka di rumah teman-teman dan sanak saudara. Aktiviti seterusnya akan diteruskan dengan solat tarawikh beramai-ramai. Ramadhan dinanti-nanti dan sambutannya lebih meriah berbanding tibanya Syawal. Bahkan, pemergian Ramadhan jua dirasakan amat menyedihkan dan ditangisi semua. Perbezaan budaya dan amalan ini tampak sangatlah besar bezanya.

Di New Zealand, sementelah aku belajar di sini inilah masanya untuk aku refleks kembali pengertian Ramadhan. Kalau masa kecil-kecil, menunaikan puasa dan Tarawikh itu hanyalah sekadar amalan yang aku lakukan hanya kerana semua orang lakukan. Aku ingat lagi, kakak pernah membawa aku ke surau di kampung untuk solat Tarawikh. Setiap kali aku solat aku cuma fikir “kenapalah imam ni banyak sangat solatnya dan panjang pula bacaan-bacaan surahnya?? ” Sedikit pun aku tak mengerti fungsi dan peranan solat tarawikh tersebut. Bila aku makin besar, aku mula tinggal di asrama. Solat tarawikh dijadikan satu kemestian bagi semua pelajar. Sekali lagi, aku menurut apa yang orang lain tetapkan. Tanpa tekanan, sedikit pun aku tidak merasa mahu menunaikannya sendiri. Di kolej, aku mula diberikan kebebasan. Aku boleh memilih untuk pergi ataupun tidak berdasarkan kesesuaian jadualku. Hmm..waktu itu, aku pergi solat tarawikh dengan penuh rela dan keihklasan. Namun, bila saat peperiksaan menjelang aku tinggalkan semua itu dan cuba tumpukan sepenuh perhatian pada pelajaran. Sekali lagi, aku sesat dalam kejahilanku sendiri. Solat tarawikh hanya satu aktiviti berfaedah tetapi agak mengambil masa. Aku memilih untuk memanfaatkan masa itu demi pelajaran (kononnya).

Kini, bila tiada ustaz-ustazah, pak imam mahupun keluarga aku tetap menunaikan tarawikh. Tapi di sini, aku melihat teman-temanku berusaha menghafal skrip selawat dan zikir, aku dan teman-teman bercanggah pendapat menentukan arah kiblat dan kami juga cuba mencuri masa untuk menyediakan moreh (makanan ringan selepas solat tarawikh). Segala kesukaran ini aku hadapi dengan penuh kesyukuran kerana aku percaya, apa yang aku alami ini adalah satu pengajaran yang sangat penting dalam hidupku. Saat ini, aku akui aku masih belum memahami pengertian dan signifikan solat Tarawikh ini tapi padaku, keihklasan melakukan sesuatu adalah sesuatu yang lebih penting. kerana Ikhlas itu adalah asas untuk menjanjikan kehidupan yang lebih bermakna.

Puasa pula, kalau masa kecil -kecil hanya memberi makna menahan lapar dan dahaga. Kini, aku dapati bahawa menahan dari perkara-perkara yang boleh membatalkan puasa itu adalah jauh lebih penting. Sesungguhnya aku pun manusia biasa. Dosa pahala bercampur-baur dalam kehidupan seharian. Tapi bulan ini membuatku berlatih dengan lebih tekun lagi demi memahami erti menahan diri tersebut. Almaklumlah, hidup dikelilingi masyarakat yang tidak mengamalkan cara hidup Islam mudah sahaja mengheret aku sekali. Kalaupun tidak membuat dosa, fikir tentang sesuatu yang berdosa pun belum tentu dapat kuelak seratus-peratus. Nauzubillah.. Justeru aku berharap Ramadhan kali ini akan mengajarku lebih lagi pengertian hidup seorang muslimah..

Mampukah aku menahan godaan??


Now it's the time of the year when Muslims throughout the world fasting and doubled or tripled their religious routines..

As for me, it's my first time spending Ramadhan abroad without my family. There are pro's and con's that I managed to think of so far.

  1. Strengthen my relationship with fellow Muslims here (eg: Got to Sahur, Break fast and prayTarawikh with my friends)
  2. Nice weather. (Unlike the hot and humid Malaysia, I find it more convenient and bearable to fast in New Zealand. It's spring season now, which makes the weather pretty cold yet better compared to winter season).
  1. No sahur or berbuka meals already prepared on table.
  2. No Bazaar Ramadhan.
  3. No Azan (which makes me tentatively looking at the prayer timetable published by FIANZ - Federation Islamic Association of New Zealand).
  4. No special TV drama for Ramadhan month. eg: Diari Ramadhan Rafique
  5. No family to celebrate with.
It seems like Malaysia served the month best..


But most importantly, we do know what we have to do no matter where we are.

Notes: Fasting/Saum literally means "inhibit" which means inhibiting oneself from hunger and thirst but most importantly is inhibiting oneself from committing all kind of sins. And that reveals the true purpose of fasting.

With that simple notes, I ended my post with a greeting:

Selamat Menyambut Ramadhan and Happy fasting !! May Allah bless us. Insya Allah.. :)

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Merdeka Night

Tonight I went to a Merdeka celebration event hosted by NZMS (New Zealand Malaysian Society) and assisted by Wellington UMNO Club. Ah well, we do not really assist that much but I'm glad to help with anything I could. Btw, I just assist a bit with the hall set-up and children games.

The event was a simple , yet entertaining. What impressed me the most was that it also attracted non- Malaysians to participate. Singaporean, for example actively involved with the dances and the event coordination. Even one of the MC was a Singaporean (The other MC is my friend, Che' Nazira). They were also families from Somalia, Philippines and the local New Zealanders.

I also saw many of Malysians' Indians and Chinese tonight (not just vast Malays like the normal Malaysian event I've seen) .It showed just how diverse our communities are and yet, Merdeka is a celebration for all regardless of our race and political drama back in Malaysia. We mingled very well with the locals but nevertheless, we'd never forget our root and we cherish what we have up until now.

Besides that, I met so many people today and I made connections with some. Heheh. It's good to know people whose not in your circle. My circle is of course, mainly consists of students and few working people. But today, I met warm and welcoming Malaysians families that reminded me so much of my own. One of many that I found was Mrs Sandra with her daughters, Katijah (some called her Kathrin) and Audrey. They were very friendly and kind enough to help with the preparations. Towards the end Zati, I and the kids danced (free-style of course, one of the routine was a cuci baju :P..I'm not good with gigs, for sure) to our hearts content. It was astonishingly fun. Audrey said that I'm her best friend. How sweet. :) ..And Mrs Sandra promised us to make Nasi Lemak when we come to visit them later. Nasib baik minggu depan puasa, kalau tak mesti dah set date terus. Lol.

Looking at how the event was pulled, I could say that I'm proud to be a Malaysian and I'm really happy to be apart of the event.

I had so much fun tonight. And now I'm looking forwards to the Malaysian Night tomorrow. I hope it'll be a good reformed memories of my mid-term break since I didn't make many interestingly significant activities this time.

Anyway, Happy Independence Day peeps!




Thursday, August 28, 2008


Lost and wallet, that is.

I feel damn grateful that I found it in good shape. Where? Lost and found office, Victoria Uni. I must've dropped it somewhere yesterday and the security officer found it. Thanks to him as well.

However, I regret that I was so reckless these days. Thank God it was my personal belonging that was lost. But what if it's someone else's property. Hell i'm doomed then! Anyway, it's a big warning for me to keep my things properly and safely at all times..

Wednesday, August 27, 2008


I just lost my wallet.

Here's the list of what I've lost:

  1. National Bank eftpos card (I just got my MARA money today!)
  2. National Bank Visa card
  3. ASB eftpos card
  4. MCKENZIES@Unicomm swipe card (how on earth am i going to enter my apartment?)
  5. Business cards (mine and other contacts)
  6. Malaysian Identity Card
  7. VUW Student ID card
  8. Wellington Civic Library card
  9. Snapper card(i just used it once!)
  10. and other loyalty cards
For those who have seen my wallet, they'll know just how much cards i put in there..

My life is in misery..

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Perjuangan Yang Belum Selesai

Just a piece of something that i wanna share :~

Sesungguhnya tidak ada yang lebih menyayat

dari melihat bangsaku dijajah,

Tidak ada yang lebih menyedihkan dari

membiarkan bangsaku dihina,

Airmata tiada ertinya,

sejarah silam tiada maknanya,

sekiranya bangsa tercinta terpinggir,

dipersenda dan dilupakan,

Bukan kecil langkah wira bangsa

para pejuang kemerdekaan

bagi menegakkan kemuliaan dan darjat bangsa

selangkah bererti mara mengharung sejuta dugaan

Biar bertatih

asalkan langkah itu yakin dan cermat

bagi memastikan negara merdeka dan bangsa terpelihara,

air mata sengsara mengiringi setiap langkah bapa-bapa kita,

Tugas kita bukan kecil

kerana mengisi kemerdekaan

rupanya lebih sukar dari bermandi keringat

dan darah menuntutnya

Lagi pula apalah ertinya kemerdekaan

kalau bangsaku asyik meniya dan menidakkan

mengangguk dan membenarkan kerana

sekalipun bangganya negara

kerana makmur dan mewahnya,

Banngsaku masih melata dan meminta-minta di negaranya sendiri

Bukan kecil tugas kita meneruskan perjuangan kemerdekaan kita,

kerana rupanya selain memerdekakan,

mengisi kemerdekaan itu jauh lebih sengsara

Bangsaku bukan kecil hati dan jiwanya

bukankah sejak zaman berzaman

mereka menjadi pelaut, pemngembara

malah penakluk terkemuka?

Bukankah mereka sudah mengembangkan sayap,

menjadi pedagang dan peniaga,

selain menjadi ulama dan ilmuan terbilang?

Bukankah bangsaku pernah mengharung samudera

menjajah dunia yang tak dikenal

Bukankah mereka pernah menjadi wira serantau

yang tidak mengenal erti takut dan kematian?

Di manakah silapnya hingga bangsaku

berasa begitu kecil dan rendah diri?

Apakah angkara penjajah? lalu bangsaku mulai

melupakan kegemilangan silam dan sejarah gemilang membina empayar

Tugas kita belum selesai rupanya

bagi memartabat dan memuliakan bangsa

kerana hanya bangsa yang berjaya

akan sentiasa dihormati

Rupanya masih jauh dan berliku jalan kita

bukan sekadar memerdeka dan mengisinya

tetapi mengangkat darjat dan kemuliaan

buat selama-lamanya

Hari ini, jalan ini pasti semakin berliku

kerana masa depan kita belum tentu menjanjikan syurga

bagi mereka yang lemah dan mudah kecewa

Perjuangan kita belum selesai kerana

hanya yang cekal dan tabah

dapat membina mercu tanda bangsanya yang berjaya.

Nukilan: Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad

Mei 1996

Friday, August 22, 2008


This is my first holiday ever that i could spent tons of hours confining myself in my petty room. Haha. What have i done??? nothing great. watching movies..internet of course, blissfully sleep. :)

With both of my housemates went to South Island for holiday, and my some other friends traveled or do something big and significant in their own life, I've found myself calm and serenity by shutting myself from the outside world. Well, i also got bored sometimes and that's when i'll go out and meet people. I totally have no plan for this holiday. I keep thinking of what i'm going to do next, what am i going to eat and i'll just let myself go with flow. but before I realized I'm already at the edge of my first week of break.

At this point, I have 3 assignments in my mind, and 1 big Stat project assignments to be completed plus 1 Calculus test needs to be sat. doesn't sound like a holiday anymore! So, I'd better move fast or I'll be in trouble. (or perhaps, I'm in trouble already)

"Procrastination is the thief of time". True and always be the Absolute Truth.

Friday, August 8, 2008

OGOS datang lagi


Disini lahirnya sebuah cinta
Yang murni abadi sejati
Disini tersemai cita cita
Bercambah menjadi warisan

( korus )
Andai ku terbuang tak diterima
Andai aku disingkirkan
Kemana harusku bawakan
Kemana harusku semaikan cinta ini

Dibumi ini ku melangkah
Keutara selatan timur dan barat
Ku jejaki

Bukanlah seorang perwira
Gagah menjunjung senjata
Namun hati rela berjuang
Walau dengan cara sendiri
Demi cinta ini

( ulang korus )

Ku ingin kotakan seribu janji
Sepanjang kedewasaan ini
Ku ingin sampaikan pesanan
Aku lah penyambung warisan

Bulan kemerdekaan Malaysia datang lagi
Tapi kali ini aku di bumi asing
Bumi yang tidak akan mengerti makna 31 Ogos 1957
Semangat patriotisme bersemarak di hati
Rindu pada tanahair makin mendalam
Namun aku belum bisa pulang
Masih ada sesuatu yang harus kulangsaikan di sini
Kerana perjuanganku belum selesai
Kerana akulah penyambung warisan

Kepada kawan-kawan terutama yang di perantauan, Selamat Menyambut bulan Kemerdekaan !! Semoga negara kita dilimpahi rahmat dan keamanan. Walaupun politik negara bergolak, kita masih ada peranan yang harus dilaksanakan. Ini kerana, dalam sedar mahupun tidak,kitalah sebenarnya yang mencorakkan masa depan negara..

Sebagai tanda sokongan pada negara, datanglah beramai-ramai ke gerai Malaysia di festival Southeast Asian Night Market bertempat di TSB Bank Arena, 16 Ogos 2008 bermula 2 petang hingga 10 malam. (tiba-tiba kempen gerai.hehe.kunjungi Wellington UMNO Club stall nanti ye.)

-_- have a good day

Sunday, July 13, 2008


My first winter holiday in Wellington did not seem as a holiday. It was the most hectic times I’ve ever experienced of. I was juggling three commitments and four events either at the same time or simultaneously. In short, my schedule of events during my holiday was as below:

28th June 2008

12.00pm-3.30pm: CA training

7.00pm-9.00pm: BERSATU Games Opening ceremony

29th June 2008 – 1st July 2008

7.00am – 6.00pm : New Zealand Model United Nations (NZMUN)

6.00pm – 12.00am: Umno Club –Chair of Malay Studies New Zealand Parliamentary Style Malay Language Debate Competition

2nd July 2008

BERSATU Games Closing ceremony

3rd July 2008

9.00am – 2.00pm : UMNO NZ Clubs New Zealand Rugby 10’s Tournament

My schedule was amazingly tight due to my roles in each of the event.

New Zealand Model United Nations (NZMUN) was basically a national level debate competition for high school students throughout New Zealand. The event organized by United Nations Youth Association of New Zealand (UNYANZ) in collaboration with Victoria University of Wellington and some committee of United Nations itself. Thence, the debate motion modeled the actual UN conference with the involvement around 194 delegates representing each UN member states. The theme of NZMUN this year was “Human Rights: A struggle for global values”

I was involved in the NZMUN as a conference assistant. However, my role was restricted as a magazine contributor that wrote articles and reports of the conference. (Writing.yeah.writing and writing..) Personally I didn’t really enjoy the roles because I had less social activities with the delegates and the other conference assistants compared to previous conference I attended. Being in the magazine team, I was only able to attend my assigned committee conferences and speeches. Most of my time was devoured in front of my laptop writing up the reports that must be done by the end of the event. The magazine team was formed for the first time this year. Thence, good image must be portrayed through the magazine to attract potential sponsors and delegates next time around.

Nevertheless, I did enjoy every discussion that I managed to attend. I was highly impressed by the performances of the delegates. They debated every issue critically and a bit witty sometimes. The best part of NZMUN was the opening ceremony. It was held at the Beehive, the Parliament of New Zealand. I’ve got to be in the Beehive for the first time in my very first year in New Zealand! The opening speech was made by Marian Hobbs, the former MP (Member of Parliament) and she used to be a teacher as well. For more information about UNYANZ or Model UN, feel free to visit

At night, I shifted my role as a conference assistant to be the WUC secretary and the host of the Umno Club –Chair of Malay Studies New Zealand Parliamentary Style Malay Language Debate Competition. The debate was my first project since I held my post in Wellington UMNO Club and it was also the first inter-UMNO NZ clubs debate competition. WUC initiated this competition to uphold the use of Malay Language as the national language of Malaysia and to instill awareness of using proper Malay language among younger generations. The participated clubs were Otago Umno Club, Auckland Umno Club, Christchurch Umno Club and the host of the event itself, Wellington Umno Club.

There were two topics debated. The topic entitled “Bahasa Melayu Mampu Bergelar Bahasa Dunia” was debated during the preliminary rounds and an FDI topic; “Pelaburan Langsung Asing Menjamin Pembangunan Negara Mapan” was debated on the final. Again, I was highly impressed by the intelligence and the wittiness of the debaters. I could say that it was the most humorous and exciting debates I’ve ever watched. The spectators turned out be quite a large crowd as well, way more than I anticipated before. In short, all I could say was, it was a great success. Congratulations to Otago UMNO Club of their winning and thanks for everyone’s supports and commitments on something very well done.

The next event was all about BERSATU Games. BERSATU Games was an annual sports event for Malaysian students in New Zealand. As of this year, Wellington was the host and in collaboration with MUMSA from Palmerston North. For more info on BERSATU Games, feel free to visit It was the biggest event for Malaysian Students in Wellington this year. Unfortunately, due to clashes with pre-determined schedule of NZMUN, I was not able to watch any of the games. Sorry guys..I felt sorry as well as I didn’t join any games or even went to support the teams. It was quite a big loss for me as I couldn’t share the memories with my fellow friends.

In exchange of my absence during the entire sports events, I dedicated some of my time to attend BERSATU opening ceremony and most importantly, I got myself involved in BERSATU Closing ceremony. The closing ceremony was held at De Loitte Gallery, Westpac Stadium (the most prestigious stadium in New Zealand). I became a dinner crew of the event. It was the last thing I could to do to show my support and appreciation to WMSO particularly and Malaysians, generally. On top of that, it was like a reward after my challenging days in prior to the event. For me, the best part of the closing ceremony was the band performances. One of the factors was the band members were my friends. One of them in fact was my relative but the main factor was the joy and the sparkles that they brought into the night. Personally I felt like they covered up some flaws of the event by their singing and melodies.

During the UMNO NZ Clubs New Zealand Rugby 10’s Tournament, I did not have major roles since the main organizer was Auckland UMNO Club. However, I went to Polo Ground Miramar to support Wellington team. The weather was not very good but I felt proud to see the players run back and forth regardless the strong winds and the heavy rains.(and it's winter!!) They dedicated their life for the game and looked pretty determined to win. In the end, Wellington team was awarded by silver medals. Congratulations!!

Phew! I’m writing towards the end of my post. Frankly, there are much more stories and experiences that I would like to share but probably, it is just not the right way of doing it. This post is getting too long for the readers’ eyes.

As a conclusion, it is never easy to juggle big responsibilities at the same time but I believe that even if we think we know our limits and abilities, we must also try to surpass our limit. For behind a limit, there’s always another limit. We just need to explore and endure it. It is because the thing that we expect as a limit might become an opportunity.

Daniel Bego (Jaguh Renang Negara)“Rekod bukan untuk dipegang, tapi untuk dipecahkan”

Monday, June 23, 2008


"Salam. s a gratitude of my father's recovery n an appreciation to all who did the bacaan yassin n pray for him, i wud like to invite u all to a simple high tea at my place(mckenzies apt) tomorrow at 4pm-8pm.all deserts are welcome.(mimi)"

That was the transcript of a text that I've sent out to my friends last Thursday (Thank you Vodafone for the txt2000 service). Otherwise I'd spent nearly $10 inviting people through text messaging service.Lol.

The so-called high tea ceremony was basically a 'kenduri kesyukuran'. It was a tribute to all my friends who supported me; mentally and spiritually and pray for my father's health during his crucial moment after his surgery.

On 25th April 2008 my father was sent to the OT room for a bypass surgery led by Mr Mohd Ezani Md Taib in the National Heart Institute (widely known as IJN;Institut Jantung Negara). My father was diagnosed to have three major blocks in his heart, and so expected to have the bypass surgery to clear up those blocks. (I am using the simplest form of medical explanation here because I'm not very well informed to explain them by using the exact medical terms). However, the surgery was not as simple as expected. During the surgery, the doctors found another blockage that needs ballooning. With my father's Diabetes Mellitus disease to be concerned of, they also faced the problem of hypertension of his blood. They needed to do more work than they anticipated and thus took longer hours for the operation to finish.

My family waited anxiously in the waiting room. They waited for someone to call and let them visit my father in the I.C.U (Intensive Care Unit) room. The normal bypass surgery would only take up to 4 hours but my father took 10 hours before he stabilized. That's an extra 6 hours for him! Shortly after my sister visited him, she called me. I was at the High Commission of Malaysia, attending a leadership program (well, I’m not the participant though. I was just helping out with the minutes taking of every meeting they had). She cried and tells me how worried she was after observing the wires crossing all over my father’s body. And I was here, in New Zealand. I could not help but got worried too and only pray for the best. My brother and mother informed me that my father was stable, and that was the only thing that kept me going. I had many commitments here and most importantly, I didn’t have enough money to come home. Only God knows how concerned I was and how helpless I was.

Occupied with the workloads as the minute taker of the leadership program, I also needed to do my assignments. Tests were also just around the corner. Ili called me superwoman then just because I couldn’t complain more but to juggle everything at the very same time. AIO told me that he was in my shoes before and could understand precisely how I felt. I smiled and said “Are you sure? Was your father in ICU as well at times like these?” He startled and said “Well no, that’s different”.

On 27th April 2008, the leadership program came to its end and I finished my job as the minute taker for the meetings. Some of my assignments were also completed or at least half-done. I was relieved and glad that I was able to contribute something to WMSO, yet had everything right on track. However, back in Malaysia my father was suffering with complications after his surgery.

My brother called me while I was still at the High Commission of Malaysia and asked me to take an ablution right away and read the Surah Yassin for my father. He was having an asthma attack and was really really critical. He asked everyone to read the Surah Yassin because he couldn’t withhold the sufferings any longer. I was shocked and cried with all my heart. I went to Auntie Rose and explain the situation. Naturally, she hugged me and lends me her shoulder to cry. Once I calmed down a bit, she asked whether I had enough money to go home, to Malaysia. After getting the respectable answer, he asked Dazriq (the president of WMSO) to arrange my flight to Malaysia, first thing the next morning. Nana offered to send me home (in Mckenzies) and book the flight tickets. My friends came to my house that night and comforted me. My mother called and cried. It was the first time ever I heard my mother cried due to hopelessness since my late great grandfather passed away, 10 years ago. As soon as my decision to go home reached my brother, he whispered to my fathers' ears “Tahan dulu pa, mimi on the way” (hold it pa, mimi is on her way back).

The next morning, on the 28th April 2008, I was on my way back to Malaysia. It was a blessing. I took a three weeks emergency leaves. Yes, I left my tests, I left my assignments, and I missed my classes. Yet, I was never been so sure in my life. It was a good call to go back.

I went straight to IJN after my arrival at KLIA. I missed the visiting hours but my father made a special request to see me right after I arrived. While I was on my way to IJN my brother called me few times to ask where I am. I was really anxious of my father’s situation but I dare not to ask. I was truly afraid. I wasn’t ready. Once I got there, I visited my father with my toughest look. My mother reminded me not to express worry or sorrow over him. My father held my hands tightly and inquired of my studies. I told him not to worry and concentrate on recuperating. I’d be there long enough to see him all healthy again. Nevertheless, what touched me the most was, while I was withholding my own tears, I still could see them but in my fathers' eyes. He cried, silently.

The next morning he was transferred out of I.C.U to H.D.U (High Dependency Unit). Sounds still like ICU to me but a bit less tense. He could speak clearer and he didn’t need respiratory help from the oxygen mask anymore. Things were never been better. It was like magic. The next day, he was transferred to the usual ward. He progressed dramatically; from being bedridden up until he could walk on his own, without in need of other’s help. My mother and I stayed beside him during the days, but I went to prayer room at night to sleep. My mother kept him company. I slept, ate, bathed at the hospital for a week long. I never went back to my own home after I arrived from New Zealand.

On 5th May 2008, I stepped into my house after 6 month leave. My father was discharged. I took care of my father for another 2 weeks at home, while my mother and brother returned to their work. At home, my father recalled his critical moments countless times and told me how grateful he was. During his unconsciousness due to anaesthesia, he remembered a few doctors who panicked and startled to decide who wanted to announce the T.O.D (time of death) to my family. It happened at least three times. Three times of unconsciousness and his heart failed to function properly. A doctor would then ask the others to wait a bit longer and watch carefully the response of my father’s body. T.O.D was never needed then, never existed and never announced because my father eventually survived.

Thankful to everyone who prayed for him, he wished that I would spread his thanks, regards and stories to those around me. He wanted to thank everyone who read the Surah Yassin, who pray, who support him and most importantly, who sent me back home..

“kalau mimi tak balik, papa mungkin tak ada lagi. Papa mungkin tak akan tunggu.Sebab papa dah tak tahan sangat waktu tu. ” (If you're not there, i might not be able to see the world again.I might not waited. Because I just couldn't stand it anymore)

Alhamdulillah. My deepest gratitude to Allah who opened up paths for me for the better consequences. .Thank you for all who supports me, now and then.

Monday, June 16, 2008

What Literacy Has Meant For Me

“Once upon a time, there lived a family of bears in the wood…”

Those were probably the words my father once quoted about The Goldilocks and the Three Bears’ story. Back in my childhood years, my father often read me story books. He even wrote the translation of the stories if it was written in a language other than my mother tongue, Malay. I didn’t remember reading at all that time. I simply just listened to whatever he said. I could only read after my kindergarten year. The stories that I still remember until today were Snow White, Sleeping Beauty and of course, The Goldilocks and the Three Bears.

When I attended kindergarten, I learnt to read, speak and write Malay language and the lingua franca, English. The hardest lesson for me then was writing essays. It was really hard for me to think of words and join them together to form sentences. I couldn’t see the point of writing longer sentences or essays while I already knew how to read, spell and write any words that I wanted. However, being in an education system that demanded highly of excellence in exams, I tried my best and I barely managed to get a B for my Malay writing for my final exam in primary school.

Nevertheless, I didn’t quit learning. In my secondary school I was introduced to literature, a piece of art in linguistics. My teachers fed me with a lot of reading materials for literature. I disliked the classic literature mostly. I was unmotivated to learn because of the difficult words and writing style of classic literature. Yet, I had to study them and make commentaries based on them during exams. However, I still had some interest in reading modern literature. I enjoyed reading the short stories and assessing poetry. Intrigued by how well the writers produce a literary work, I started to write. I wrote diary entries and poems. I discovered a new world where I could actually spread my wings and speak freely. Modern literature was the only part of literature that kept me going and passed through the exams, then.

My college life brought me into a different perspective of writing. I had numerous assignments. In order to complete my International Baccalaureate (IB) diploma I had to submit nearly 50 lab reports, 3 mathematics tasks, and 5 big research papers. Whether I liked it or not, I had to write. During those times, I realized that writing is the fundamental process of studies. Writing was not merely a test of language anymore. It was more like a form of knowledge test whereby I put everything that I knew into words. Even the lecturers then were looking forward to see the gist of my writing rather than the language itself.

World literature subject that I took changed my view on literature a lot. All this while, my literature lesson always came with a textbook where I memorized all the details of the literary research for the exam. In college, I was required to analyze the literature materials on my own and present them in my own words. The materials that captured my attention the most were Things Fall Apart written by Chinua Achebe and F. Scott Fitzgerald’s novel, The Great Gatsby. Drawn into the culture of Africans and to the vision of American Dreams, the literature taught me to appreciate not only the literary works but to appreciate the message conveyed in the work itself. I began to have an interest to study customs, cultures and values of other people from different parts of the world. Hence, by the end of the course, I managed to write a comparison study between these two novels, particularly about their culture.

The assignment needed me to reflect deeply on people cultures’ and values. Thus, in order to write, I had to read more to understand people. Indirectly, the assignments triggered my awareness of further reading as much as the writing. It was the assignment that I valued most as it contains judgments generated by my original ideas and thoughts.

Meanwhile, most of my other assignments relied on facts and accuracies. My lab reports for example, required me to have definite aims and objectives to be achieved. Whatever results that I got, the conclusion should meet the aim of the experiments. Any misconduct that produced wrong results should be well evaluated. However, for my mathematics assignments, the lecturers expected me to communicate with examiners not solely by numbers and charts but by using words as well. I was blurred at the beginning. I never thought that explanation in words was as important as numbers in mathematics tasks.

Consequently, regardless of what I wrote, either by using facts or presenting my own ideas, writing always aims for the writer to be creative. Thus in my opinion, literacy might mean ability to read and write but being a literate person does not mean just being able to read and write. A literate person should be able to think critically and respond reasonably as well. At the moment I’m grateful that I can read and write. I also have the greatest gift from God which is used to think and ponder. The gift is my brain.

Sunday, June 15, 2008


Ada apa dengan cinta?
Jika hanya mengguris jiwa
Merobek rasa mengukir sengsara

Ada apa dengan jiwa?
Asyik leka dibuai lara
Tak tersedar ke mana halanya

Ada apa dengan gusar?
Andai semua sudah terpapar
Perhentian-perhentian untuk kukejar

Ada apa dengan kecamuk?
Mengundang amarah menjemput amuk
Tubuh digerak nadi yang mabuk

Ada apa dengan sesal?
Tatkala segunung harapan dikepal
Tiba-tiba terburai dek nafsu yang nakal

Seringkali aku terfikir
Apakah aku terlalu fakir?
Tiada insan mahu memparkir
Membuat aku rasa terpinggir

Ingin sekali aku mendengar
Mereka berhenti omong sebentar
Mengalun irama penghapus hingar
Kerna tak tertanggung runsing yang menular

Simply Me

Kia Ora

My father named me Shamimi Shamsuddin. i was born and raised in a place called Klang, Selangor. I'm a true Malaysian although my roots imply me as Minang or Javanese which are simply Indonesian. However, since i'm the post independence child, i values myself as a Malay truthfully.Currently I'm studying at Victoria University of Wellington, New Zealand as an undergraduate student. My aim as of now is to get BSc Mathematics(Hons) by the end of my course...